Who’s that girl? It’s Jess

That’s right. Cat’s out of the bag.

I know, I know, it’s been so mysterious up until now wondering who could possibly be writing all these witty and banterous reviews. Well, it’s me. Jess.

For those of you who don’t watch the U.S hit ‘New Girl’, it essentially follows the life of a girl called Jess who is notoriously bad at dating and lives with a group of handsome but shall we say, childish men with varying personalities.

This is my life.

Thankfully, one of these manchildren is actually my boyfriend who saved the world from my sexy dancing and terrible flirting.

Despite the title, this blog is not about me. I wanted to introduce you to ‘The Boys’ who speak so much shit that sometimes it’s actually funny. Who despite being complete liabilities, have the hips of Shakira and the charm of Mark Darcy or Daniel Cleaver (depending on which you prefer).

I plan to feature this bunch of misfits from time to time so I thought it might be a good idea (after 2 glasses of wine, a Pimms and a G&T admittedly) to give you an idea of what I’m dealing with in my day-to-day life…


Name: Ed

Status: Relationship (Mine)

Character: Schmidt

New Girl Summary / Real Life similarities: 

Formally known as the self-proclaimed ‘Top Sh…Dog’, Ed is now forcibly our resident chef and cleaner – not because nobody else offers, but because no one else meets his standards (which works for everyone). He’s the biggest gym goer of the house, is rarely spotted with a top on and is known for his frequent outrageous/inappropriate comments.


Name: Matt

Status: Single (& ready to mingle)

Character: Nick Miller

New Girl Summary / Real Life similarities: 

Matt is the most sensitive of the 4 boys and in all honesty is more like a pet than a housemate. His mixture of awkwardness around females and annoying musical modesty makes him the most lovable and if you remember to feed/water him and let him run about at bit at football once a week, he’ll impress you with his fluidity on the dance floor and fingers on guitar strings.


Name: Will

Status: Relationship

Character: Coach

New Girl Summary / Real Life similarities: 

The character that comes in for season 3 but was friends with this lot way before living together in London. A former athlete (I’m told the sport was tennis), Will is the elusive but charming housemate with a quiet confidence and competitive streak which was recently supported by the fact he casually came first in a triathlon we took part in having done little-no training.


Name: Olly

Status: Single (& Ready to mingle)

Character: Winston

New Girl Summary / Real Life similarities: 

 

Undoubtedly the sassiest member of our cast, Olly has the moves like Jagger and the booty of Beyoncé. Much like Winston, Olly sways between being the kind-hearted voice of reason and an irresponsible goofball. On Mondays, he’s the most sensible working man among us, but by Fridays (Thursdays really), you’re on a date with a sarcastic, disco dancing diva from Yorkshire.


So there you have it.

The boys.

You’ll notice that two of them are SINGLE, so ladies please submit your interest via the contact page, and keep an eye out for their pearls of wisdom from their experiences in the dating world.

They’re qualified. Kind of…

New Girl

4 thoughts on “Who’s that girl? It’s Jess

  1. I ran into Olly once in a bar known as The Dolphin in Hackney one clear Spring evening. He talked the talk, he walked the walk, and he took me to heaven and back.

    Like

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